I CAN NOT believe that it is time for school to start. We hardly had a summer! Wah.
I didn't get my 10 books in by Labor Day, instead I got 2. I have a stack of magazines waiting which means I didn't spend countless hours in my chaise lounge. We didn't cross all the items off our summer bucket list (no drive-in... no Seattle zoo... no hiking...). My yard has turned barren and brittle. I think this poorly timed job thing got in my way. Kinda cramped my style.
I'm feeling wistful on a summer lost. I gained insight, I gained perspective, but I lost time. And I lost my summer traditions.
Now, it's the last week of August and school starts September 1. This means that Daughter starts Kindergarten in a few days! A daily school routine. Five days a week. The real deal. She might even bus home for crying out loud. What is happening here?
To make it worse, my baby boy is starting his first of 2 years of Preschool. Awesome. Now I have 2 kids in school.
As I try to fantasize about the prospect of a few hours a week to myself and some better bonding time with my youngest, I feel so restless and anxious. These tikes have been my life for the past 5 years - as painful and often unappreciated as they may have been at times.
I feel sad to be without them at my side. And now they're being subjected to the real world of peers and pressures and public education - it's enough to make me crazy. Or crazier.
I know it's normal. I know this is natural. I know I don't have a choice. But that doesn't make the ache in my heart go away.
No comments:
Post a Comment