WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?

Ask this question to any stay-at-home mom and prepare to run far enough from the shrapnel of the grenade you just tossed. Some of us can laugh at the insensitivity of this question, but most of us bristle at the implication that we sit around in a luxurious life of pampering all day. Whether we show our irritation or not is dependent on your relationship with the offender and whether or not we've spent the morning mopping up apple juice for the third time. (If you don't know what I'm referring to, you are either not a mom or your floors are still sticky.)

But, with all honesty, there are some days when I ask myself: what DO I do all day? As I look around the house at bedtime and see disarray and realize my to-do list is only a quarter complete, it's disheartening and overwhelming that there is always something to do. Always something that didn't get done. And this is after a full days work.

So I recorded every moment of a typical day to see where it all goes. Does this look like your day or am I doing it wrong?

ANY THURSDAY

745 Wake up... Snooze button
810 Wake up... Kids are hungry, cereal again?
815 Facilitate two kids into clothing, two kids with teeth brushing
825 "Make" breakfast,two kids eating
845 Drive daughter to Kindergarten, fingers crossed she let's me drop off
900 Home to put on real clothes, brush my own teeth
920 Walk boy to school
930 Coffee and staring out my window, building mental checklist
1000 Clean kitchen, do dishes, sweep floor, clear counters
1055 Find paperwork that should have been sent to school
1100 Check email, consider writing deadline
1107 Play on Facebook, twitter and send a couple texts
1125 Drive to pick up daughter from Kindergarten
1140 Breakneck speed to pick up boy, of course class ends within 5 minutes
1150 Get boy from preschool, glad they got out late
1200 Shuffle kids into the house
1203 Wade through detritus of post-school shoe, coat, backpack strip
1205 Deflect hunger comments
1220 Soup and sandwiches and apples for lunch
1222 Deflect complaints of what they really wanted
1245 Clean up lunch mess
1255 Negotiate how many minutes of playtime until naps and quiet time
100 March kids upstairs for naps and quiet time, facilitate bathroom break
110 Negotiate how long one must stay in their room
120 Quiet. Think of all the things I could do with the next 90 minutes
130 Waste 60 of them thinking about writing, distracted with music downloads
230 Look for workout clothes
235 Realize laundry must be done, start first of 3 loads
300 Decide towels must also be washed, 4th load
301 Realize bathroom should be cleaned, time is now
330 Kids played longer than hoped, no nap, now hungry and get snack, laundry
340 Kids asking for Looney Tunes, fine
343 Realize no meat thawed for dinner, now what?
350 Settle on baking chicken nuggets for dinner...Happy Meal!
400 Laundry, swap loads, pile clean clothes on sofa
410 Kids are hungry, request them to be patient
412 Sort through backpacks for homework, important paperwork
417 Get mail, hasn't been checked in 4 days, mailman not our biggest fan
420 Sort mail, half is recycle, rest is magazines & bills, one party invite
430 Kids are hungry, suggest legos, it sticks
432 Boy has tummy ache, bathroom, needs help
435 Preheating oven? Can wait... Check & swap laundry, more clothes on sofa
445 Fold laundry, pile on table
500 Enlist kids to bring laundry upstairs
502 Conversation ensues over responsibility in the home
505 Instruction to put clothing in drawers
510 Preheat oven, manage laundry mules
515 Opt against kid opinion on veggies, choose green beans
520 Chicken in oven, 12 minutes
523 Prep beans and cut oranges, pour milk, clean table for dinner
530 Step on lego, kids must clean these up right now...
532 Oven timer ringing, realizing I didn't eat anything respectable today
533 Sneak piece of caramel
535 Nuggets are cooled right? Dinner, wash hands.
536 Request kids wash hands, another caramel
537 Why are you not listening? Please wash hands
540 Wash your hands!
545 Kids eating, I don't want nuggets, sneak another caramel
547 Plan for what to eat later
547 Tidy kitchen, dishes into sink, dishwasher full, dang it
550 Laundry swap, fold
600 Kids are finished eating
602 Reminded to put plates in sink
603 Yes, cups too
604 Blocks and cars on the carpet
605 Deflect requests to dessert
606 Lean Cuisine into microwave, 3 min then stir
609 Stir then 1 more minute
611 Dinner ready, too hot
612 Try to take bite, starving, burn tongue
613 Make a drink, to ease burn of course
615 Try another bite, burn roof of mouth
616 Five minute warning to kids, field call from husband
617 "Talk to him please, he's calling to talk to you." fine, I'll talk
630 Whoops, five minutes up ten minutes ago, time to clean up
635 Upstairs for bath, strip and potty
640 Debate necessity of bubbles, kids lose
645 Debate necessity of cleanliness, kids lose
650 Bath play for kids, make bed, get out kids clothes for morning
655 Realize I forgot about Lean Cuisine, now too cold for satisfaction
657 Choke down half, pb on bread for substitute dinner
700 Bath time is over, towel off, brush hair, teeth, pajamas
715 Two books, two songs in mom's bed
730 Final potty time
733 Ping pong kids from bathroom, and beds, and each others
745 Good nights and kisses and following days planning with daughter
755 Good nights and kisses and following days assurances with boy
800 Check laundry, opt to not fold final load, opt not to do anymore dishes
801 TV time
805 Settle on sofa with yogurt, and Halloween candy, TiVo remote and iPhone
810 Play some Words with Friends, Facebook, email, text with friends
830 Bliss out on tv
900 Daughter not tired, convince need for sleep
905 Threaten against waking her brother
1030 Time to head to bed, put dog in, turn out lights, check on kids
1040 Climb into bed with magazine
1100 Lights out

So there you have it, a very detailed play by play of what I did all day. I didn't sew their halloween costumes, I didn't get them to do their homework, I didn't work out, there were no educational forays into cooking or seasonal crafts. I didn't leave the house other than to take the kids to school and dinner was uninspired. In short, I maintained the existence of my home and children.

Sometimes that has to be enough. But I did get some laundry done.